Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
