guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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