Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
