my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
