I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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