why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
