Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
that may or may not have been my penis.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
