the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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