i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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