So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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