at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
