508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
