he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
