I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
