did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
