Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
