I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
