I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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