Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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