just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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