youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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