Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
