And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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