How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
