I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
