OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How external is "for external use only"?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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