I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
