when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
