You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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