Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
