Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Fuck appropriateness.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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