I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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