As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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