Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
