tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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