Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
