I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
