you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
