ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
