my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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