I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
