Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
