Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
