like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
