bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
