Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
