Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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