never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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