I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i permit you to call me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i love accidental penises.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
