Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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