Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
