I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
