How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
