All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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