That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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