gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
