i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
